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I earn twice my husband’s salary and pay all the bills — now he hides all his savings

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  • I earn twice my husband’s salary and pay all the bills — now he hides all his savings


    Dear Moneyist,

    This is something I have not shared with anyone until now. I am embarrassed because my family, friends and colleagues view me as a very intelligent person. I act like someone who has it all together, but deep down I feel otherwise.

    I have lived with my husband since 1998, first as boyfriend and girlfriend, then as partners. We got married in 2014. Over the years I have trusted him with money. Each of us has our own bank accounts and we do whatever. I have always have earned at least twice what he makes, but it has never been an issue, as far as I’m aware.

    I pay all the bills and take care of everything financially. But after all of these years, I don’t know what’s in his bank account. I do know he is into stocks, but I am afraid to ask. On a few occasions I have asked that we talk about retirement and future money plans, and he has ignored me. I regularly forward him articles about money and retirement, etc., and he simply ignores them.

    I am starting to worry because we are almost 50 and have a 16-year-old child who is about to go to college. Should I continue trusting him or gather courage and just push the subject, risking a potential cold war that drags on for weeks?

    P.S. We struggle with communication in this relationship. I know he is a loner and a miser. He doesn’t spend much.

    Silent Wife in Olathe, Kan.

  • #2
    Ha! smart guy if you ask me